Totally Accurate Battle Simulator Free Download GAMESPACK.NET

MyMy youngest son, a boisterous 8-year-old, will often ask me about the games I’m playing for work. And I’ll tell him. “I’m previewing a new game about aliens,” or “I’m reviewing a strategy game about samurai.” It’s a nice way for us to connect, although he views my game tastes as pretty dreary. He’s not mad into sweeping historical death sagas or heartfelt indie love stories. When it came to telling him about my current interest, Totally Accurate Battle Simulator, I couldn’t recall the game’s name, so I had to describe the general concept to him. “It’s like an overhead view thing where you take a dozen archers and a knight and then you take a Viking berserker and five shieldmen,” I said. “And they are two opposing teams, and you let them loose against each other, and then you see who wins. The strange thing is, they’re like silly ragdoll soldiers, but their goofy physics don’t matter because as the battle progresses, you really get into who’s gonna come out on top.” Long before I’d reached the end of my précis, he was bouncing off the walls yelling “TABS, TABS, TABS”.TOP/BEST ADULT VIDEO GAMES IN UNITED STATES OF AMERICA (USA)

Totally Accurate Battle Simulator Free Download GAMESPACK.NET

Turns out, he was already familiar with the game via his intense diet of YouTube gameplay videos. So I agreed that we would review TABS together. The project has turned out to be the most fun I’ve had with a video game in ages. I AM NOT, GENERALLY SPEAKING, AN IDEAL DAD TABS has a campaign mode that takes us through various military periods. Ancient Greek-style phalanxes will appear alongside Persian-esque archers and Romanish swordsmen and Carthaginian battle elephants. But they’re not, in the least sense, historically accurate. They’re cartoonish and floppy. So me and the kid are staring down the barrel of a small army of tactically placed enemies, on one side of an area that’s shaped a bit like a tennis court. And we’re on the other side and we have a budget to spend on our opposing army. We hire our soldiers and place them as best we can. Then we surrender complete control to the game, sit back and watch the carnage unfold. Once the fighting begins, there’s nothing we can do to affect the outcome.

Totally Accurate Battle Simulator for NDA Press.

Despite the seeming madness of TABS’ battles, it soon becomes clear that, underneath the staggering figurines, there ticks a clever piece of mathematical symmetry. Each battle only lasts a few moments, but they are nonetheless thoughtful puzzles that require a strategic mien. I’m impressed how quickly my boy gets the measure of each unit and of our enemies. (It’s not just his YouTube helpers. He’s clearly figuring this stuff out.) Sometimes our strategies go awry and our armies are slaughtered. Other times, the puzzle is too easy and we win, hardly losing a single warrior. There are a few puzzles that are annoying, most especially those that feature small numbers of fighters. Others are seemingly designed to present as though they’re fiendishly tricky, but turn out to require only that we spam the arena with tons of cheap, low level units. There are moments during this early access game (i.e. it’s still being developed, even though it’s publicly available) when levels become unplayable, because units get stuck. Then there are battles in which we repeatedly fail to find the winning formula, howling in frustration as our last guy is mobbed by the enemy.Internet Cafe Simulator 2

Totally Accurate Battle Simulator Free Download GAMESPACK.NET

Finally, joyously, the answer is discovered, and it all turns on the survival of one last heroic warrior, standing victorious among the shambles of war. We clap and high-five and first-punch and “yesssss.” and all that parent-kid stuff. The premise is that classic pub question of “Who would win in a fight between X and Y?” Yet rather than dealing in one-on-one hypotheticals, such as Batman versus Bruce Lee, Totally Accurate Battle Simulator broadens the scope to historical and mythical armies. You can pit cavemen against medieval knights, samurai against Greek hoplites, renaissance musketeers against farmers (that iconic fighting force). Unlike the local pub bore banging on about why Richard the Lionheart would definitely beat a World War 1 Tank (he wouldn’t), TABS does not try to take its patently absurd question seriously. Regardless of what historical era or myth they derive from, every combatant in TABS is represented as a goggle-eyed, flaccid-limbed mannequin that, depending on which side it’s on, is coloured either red or blue.

Unit and faction Creator.

There’s equally no attempt to replicate authentic battle strategy or combat tactics. Instead, every sword-swing and cannon-shot is powered by the game’s highly elastic physics engine. The result is, basically, a procedural comedy generator. Depending on whether you’re playing in campaign or sandbox mode, you arrange either your army or both armies as you see fit. Either way, the result is the same – a ridiculous debacle. Simply watching two lone enemies duel is hilarious. They flail around like drunk toddlers armed with pool noodles, often missing each other entirely and falling over with a wet slap. At the larger scale, bodies often end up flying like meaty confetti, whether they’re struck by a particularly powerful blow, or by artillery weapons like cannons or boulders. TABS is naturally amusing, but it doesn’t rest on those ticklish laurels. Considerable effort has gone into making it both funny and a proper game, one with enough structure and strategy to keep you invested. On the funny side, this comes down to developer Landfall deliberately cranking up the absurd factor. Your armies don’t fight silently. They grunt, squeal, jabber and honk at each other as if they’ve all stumbled into an episode of Pingu.Forza Horizon 5

Totally Accurate Battle Simulator Free Download GAMESPACK.NET

There are several nice visual touches too, like how the goggle eyes turn into black-crosses when units die. Most of all though, the humour derives from the units themselves. While most armies include the expected fundaments of a fighting force (the cavemen have clubmen and spear-throwers, while the medieval army has squires, archers and knights), most armies also feature more eclectic units. The Renaissance forces, for example, have balloon-archers, who attach inflatable hydrogen balloons to their arrows which pull struck enemies into the sky, then explode, plummeting them to the ground. The Dynasty faction, meanwhile, has Ninjas who can throw shurikens at an astonishing rate, alongside a ballista-type artillery weapon that can unleash a massive volley of arrows. A couple of the factions are ludicrous from the ground up. The farmers’ ranks comprise of halflings and bottle-throwing potion sellers, while the pirates have barrel-wearing blunderbuss wielders who are frequently knocked down by the recoil of their own weapons.

Campaign and battle creator.

It’s the gaming equivalent a KFC variety bucket – fun, messy, and entirely free of nutritional value. Or at least, it would be without the campaign mode, which adds structure and strategy to TABS’ anarchic tendencies. There are actually multiple campaigns, including a tutorial campaign, a couple of challenge-based campaigns, and several faction-specific campaigns. Each of these comprises numerous battles where you’re given a set army you need to defeat. You’re given a pool of cash to spend on units, which varies depending on the size and type of army you face. Sometimes the game will also limit you to a particular army type, but you can usually mix and match. What quickly becomes apparent is that the type of army you field has a genuine impact on your chances of victory. I would often field armies comprised entirely of a single unit type, and I was amazing how an army of ninjas could utterly annihilate the enemy in one level, then get battered all the way back to Japan on the next. Crucially, while there’s probably an optimal way to complete each level, there’s rarely a “right” way to approach them. TABS keeps most of its challenges open-ended, and if you’ll fail the first time, you’ll almost certainly succeed by your third attempt.

TABS has a straightforward premise executed brilliantly, and as such it has little in the way of problems. One could argue it isn’t a particularly deep game, but one could easily counterargue that this is part of its appeal rather than a flaw. TABS also isn’t short on content either. The combined campaigns easily amount to between 10 and 20 hours of play, and beyond that there’s downloadable custom campaigns, and a multiplayer which offers some of the most fun single-screen competitive action since Worms: Armageddon.TABS is giving us a whole new avenue of fun. The campaign allows us to discover hidden new units that we add to our armory. There’s also a sandbox mode in which we can throw together the most improbable combinations, just for the fun of seeing what happens. This game is very much like the little toy armies I played with as a boy: plastic soldiers and matchbox cars and miniature dinosaurs. Like millions upon millions of other kids, going back centuries, I’d set my miniatures up on the floor (‘70s parquet in my case) and play out the battle. In my childhood, it was not expected that a father would play along, nor did it occur to me that such a thing were possible.

Totally Accurate Battle Simulator Free Download GAMESPACK.NET

Now I am a father of the 21st century, and playing with my kids is mandatory and, yes, sometimes, it’s fun. TABS makes me feel like a dad on the front of a 1970s boxed game, Mousetrap or Battleship or whatever, clean-shaven in his v-neck pullover, bursting with paternal excellence. But unlike those games, TABS is constantly being updated and expanded, with new eras and new units and new puzzles. It’s something we can go back to, again and again. It’s like a little engine for funny narratives. My boy and I enjoy recollecting old war stories of battles won and lost, or positing fantastical potential conflicts between bizarre combinations. This is an awesome game that I’ve been recommending to fellow dads. And when they come back to me and say what a great time they had, I bask in the glory of my glowing dadness.I will do almost anything to avoid attending “fun” events that involve other kids, because they inevitably feature other dads, who are often the kinds of dads who love to clamber onto monkey bars, rather than sensibly read a newspaper on the park bench. Or they’ll do a roaring backflip into the swimming pool, splashing their delighted offspring and disturbing my sunbed musings about whether to order a Modelo or a Stella.Resident Evil Village

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